Mein Kempf ala Raks

 

 

Many years ago in some Hibernia ghetto there was a prostitute named Darklips ( We all know the previous story).  She had, after he many adventures settled down in the red light district just outside Tir Na Og.

 

For many years she lived there, making a steady living by her unique LIPS, and many ahd a lip fetish in Hibernia, especially those quirky Lukireens.

 

Darklips also had a great bust size, so often she was being commented on her “Rack”.  Well the joy didn’t last to long, as eventually she got knocked up by a lil lukireen.

 

Now, after the 5 month gestation period a young baby was born.  Just coming out of child labor, and not having much sense of herself all she could rememer is what people kept say, nice Rack.

 

The Firbolg surgeon asked for the name of the baby, and darklips cried “ nice Rack!”.

 

The Firbolg looked confused.

 

“niceee…….Rackkssss”

 

“Ahh, Raks, nice choice!”

 

Many days later Darklips began to carry her newborn child around.  He was a disfigured little sport, and Darklips lost a lot of her customers. 

 

Many years past.

 

Raks, often locked away in the cellar, because he was hurting his mother’s business, spent time shooting rats with his little nerf bow.  He even tried to hide under the a pile of rat dung to confuse the poor little animals.   The only time he saw light, was when his evil mother came to feed him, which was only when he yelled EXTREMLY loud.   Being in the cellar, and by the loudness of his mothers business “activities”.

 

Many years passed and Darklips was so sick of feeding her little disfigured boy, she kicked him out into the streets to fend for himself.

 

All the little firbolgs kicked his ass.

 

Emotional scarred, disfigured, and general deprived of any contact of the opposite sex, Raks turn to the only thing he knew how to do, Kill defenseless beings.

 

For hours, since he had no friends or family, Raks roamed the frontiers killing poor invaders and even as far as venturing into the foreign lands.

 

This went on for years, eventually the tales of his deeds landed back in Hibernia.  Few came to respect him, while the majority still thought he was that little disfigured creature.

 

He joined a guild, and now thinking he was a mass killer decided to order people around, all the little firbolgs that use to BEAT him mumbled under their breath.  Well many forced again into isolation.  Raks couldn’t take it, so he left his guild and wandered off again into the lands of despair.

Then he went insane.